Flopping around like they own the place

When I was living in London the pigeons were out of control. They feed them birth control there to try and keep their numbers under control because their crap eats away at the famous landmarks.

One day my friend Mike and I were walking to class when we were dive bombed by a bunch of kamakazi pigeons rushing for a piece of food. They were all flapping around, my friend Mike got sooooo pissed and yelled "God those freaking pigeons flopping around like they own the place! They need to get those things under control".

Well, on my way home from work yesterday I felt that exact same sentiment. I stopped by the Jewel to get some milk, and walked out of the parking lot near an exit that's under the L. So of course, there are a million pigeons around, because under the tracks of a really noisy train is the perfect place to roost. Anyway some a-hole threw half a glass of water on the street, but it looked like he was tossing food or something so the million idiot pigeons flew towards it, thinking they were going to eat, directly in front of me.

I stopped and calmly waited, thinking to myself "Good thing I didn't walk through that mess, they probably would have hit me". Once they all passed by I started walking again, only to be taken from behind by a rogue pigeon flying the OPPOSITE way of the 'food'! It flapped me on the side of my head with it's WHOLE wing! It moved my hair across my face!

I thought I was going to throw up, I felt as though a rat had crawled into my bed and nested in my hair. The thought of all of the parasites that thing was carrying, crawling around on my head made me want to pee my pants. I shake my fist at the a-hole who threw the water, and I especially shake my fist at the fact that it's a crime to harass pigeons in Chicago, and I thirdly shake my fist at the city for not getting these damn birds under control and feeding them some birth control!!

P.S. I also shake my fist at my co-worker Heather who claims to have a bird phobia, but admitted to spending an hour on Saturday feeding a pigeon a chocolate chip muffin, because she thought it was funny that the bird picked the chips out of the muffin before eating it.